‘Manchild’, ‘Peter Pan syndrome’ or ‘Little Prince/Princess syndrome’ are all terms used to describe those who act childish and refuse to accept moral responsibility. They typically go through life causing hell for everyone and involve innocent people in their games without regard for effects it has. In most cases this is used to distract and deflect negative and anti-social behaviour that they are afraid of being called out for.
It usually starts with a little exaggeration of the truth, inflated self-image and deflection of not-so-nice facts that could potentially show the 'man child' in a bad light. This is not exclusive to 'men' either. Many women use the same tactics.
The real problems begin when you stand up to an adult child. The bullish behaviour is used to ensure that people will not dare challenge them and when you do, you'll become a target. The aim is to create enough noise and distraction so that people come to the decision that it's not worth fighting.
They will do almost anything to avoid being called out.
This article will help you to recognise the signs and avoid becoming involved with these toxic people.
Peter Pan Syndrome: People Who Never Grow Up
Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D author of The Superhuman Mind writes about the 10 Signs of an Emotionally Immature Adult – The traits of immature and childish grownups revealed in this article on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog ... ture-adult
Life is tough and many people simply refuse to face it.
It’s common for those who have lived sheltered lives or have been protected from the harshness of reality by someone close to them. This is known as ‘pampering’ and is common for mothers to pamper sons in this way.
Others may have deeper psychological issues they are trying to ‘deny’ or ‘cover up’ and acting child-like diverts responsibility away from them with the person ‘appearing’ to be carefree or fun loving. In reality, these people are toxic and can cause huge problems for others.
In areas with high social housing or poverty, there will always be a higher number of people suffering from harsh backgrounds and hard living environments. This forces people to drop their morals and learn ways to cover them up. No one likes facing horrible facts, so it’s no surprise that people develop inventive ways to mask their behaviour.
The cold hard truth; We are all responsible for our behaviour choices.
Those people who have naturally developed minds, find ways to improve their choices and accept things that they cannot control. This process allows growth. The immature mind will always be reluctant to accept responsibility for anything negative because they are always mindful of their perceived image, and therefore want to protect it.
These are the common traits to look out for:
- Lack of Responsibility, blaming others.
- Attraction to drama, often involving others
- Use of emotionally charged excuses designed to add pressure
- Playing victim and gaining sympathy & support
- Lies & deceit patterns
- Developed Character Fantasy as cover story
- Diversion from the truth
- Projection to others
- Lack of Responsibility, blaming others.
You’ll notice that there is always a good justification for inexcusable behaviour. If there is a third party that can take the blame, they’ll use that option. It’s a very mature thing to do to accept responsibility, especially if it’s for something negative.
Attraction to drama, often involving others
They look for drama and find a way to involve themselves at any opportunity. Not only that, they will involve others and cause endless problems for people without a care in the world. They always talk about other people’s business and have opinions of everyone, judging and gaining support for whatever side they choose to be on.
Use of emotionally charged excuses designed to add pressure
When poor behaviour has been exhibited, you’ll find there will always be a string emotional reason to justify it. They will attach themselves to anything and use it to water-down their behaviour. This is a form of emotional blackmail designed to avoid them being questioned. IE you have to cross a line to be in a position to challenge them. If you do, you’ll see a switch and you’ll soon feel like the aggressor.
Lies & deceit patterns
This just comes with the territory. Once you start to realise what you’re dealing with, you’ll see the patterns of lies and deceit that have been used on others. Look out for the signs!
Developed Character Fantasy as cover story
Elaborate stories of heroics and human kindness will always be used upon first meeting these people. They’ll tell you lots of nice things they do for others and how everyone relies upon them.
Diversion from the truth
When you get close to the ugly truth, you’ll notice diversion tactics at play. Details will be avoided and you’ll be bombarded with alternative things to think about.
Projection to others
This is when poor behaviour cannot be justified. ‘I was driven to it’ or ‘they won’t leave me alone’ will be used to make others think that you are persecuting them.
Playing victim and gaining sympathy & support
Playing the victim is a common tactic when things get a little uncomfortable. This usually happens when someone stands up to them or they realise they don't want it anymore.
It’s often used to gain support by emotionally pressuring you to join the person in support of their agenda. If you don’t comply, you’ll soon be called the bully and you'll find them talking negatively about you, to others who are too afraid to stand up to them.